My Singapore Summer Garden Wedding - Page 3
Red flowers, Tiffany blue flowers… So much choices. I decided to aim for red flowers to represent the feminine side of me when the florist asked for the choices of flowers. My ever efficient wedding planner Melissa had her own florist so we saved time hunting for our own and it’s easier to for her to coordinate the decorations arrangements since she knows the layout of her restaurant the best. She assured me to go with her florist so she is able to control the quality as well as the set up of the restaurant. This is crucial, meaning I could rely on her and concentrate on other parts of the wedding planning. I also need only need to rely to her what we envision in our dream wedding instead of talking to too many vendors.
So I rely on trusty Pinterest again for inspirations on flowers decorations.
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With this chart comes in handy, I will search for the flowers I like corresponding to this chart.
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First thought is to have autumn leaves but my sister-in-law thought it looks too Christmasy especially in a hot summery Singapore, its going to look out of place.
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I kinda half-hearted at this arrangement, I thought its beautiful and elegant but it also looks a bit old. I want vibrant, fun yet classic at my wedding.
 "Red wedding floral decor")
This is sooooooo cute! I love the resemblance to ladybugs. But the florist does not have the flowers available and we'll likely have to import them from other countries.
 "Red tulip wedding bouquet")
I love the colors of this. Did I tell you that my bouquet is also going to match with the flowers in the decorations?
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Unqiue but its just not me and not to my taste either.
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I like this but again, poppy is not a popular flower so the costs is going up if I choose to go with this flowers.
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This is sweet and I like the display, very simple and clean. But the flowers are not available hence I decided to forgo with the headache overtime I think about flowers and go with my favourite flowers of them all, the classic red roses. Not just any roses, blood red roses.
My final choice:
 "Red")
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Not dull red or bright red, I told my wedding planner the red I want is as red as Snow White's lips.
The biggest headache of a Chinese wedding is yet to come… The guest list. Who to invite and who not to invite. Keeping it small means we cannot invite everyone but yet we wanted to invite people who matters to us. This also means my parents couldn’t invite long lost relatives that I have not seen in 10 years. That also means my parents-in-laws cannot invite their friends who I do not know at all, neither do my husband.
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So keeping it within 100 people:
First up, my family members which will consist of 10 and his family members which are another 20 so in total, we’ll have 30 folks from family which we need to add into our guest lists.
Then it’s my friends, many of those who have been through thick and thin with me throughout the years. A handful of them have been my friends for the past 10 years. But it is nothing compare to my husband’s childhood friends, he has friendship counting back when he was in primary school! That’s like 25 years and beyond! So that is another 40 people on the list.
Then we have the colleagues and the overseas friends who made up of another 40! That is way overshot our guest number by 10. Actually, we were hoping to keep it down at 80 because of the plus 1s and now we have 110 guests, urgh!! We started to message our friends to have a gauge who is definitely able to turn up and who is definitely not going to. All in all, we have another 20 people who couldn’t make it due to the June school holidays in Singapore. Most of the families will be taking this break to go on a family holiday.
The restaurant came back with the seating plans and asked me how the tables should be arranged. They were nice enough to provide me with their floor plan and usual seating arrangements. After confirming the number of desired guests coming to our wedding, the wedding planner was quick to work out the table arrangements.
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Unlike the western culture where the bride and groom have designated seats facing the crowd, we decided not to. All of our guests will not have any designated seats and it’s free to mingle around the guests. We decided that we want to do the same, to mingle around our friends. Friends whom we have not seen each other since we both moved out of the country so this is a good chance for us to catch up with everybody before the wedding ends and we have to return to Malaysia. So no marked seats and I truly doubt we get to eat much on that day. Thinking back I was terribly nervous, I don’t think I had any food down my throat!
The moment we had to call our friends for their confirmation, we realized that we did not send out any invitation cards. Quickly, I begin my research on our invitation cards. Meanwhile, my husband suggested that we do a simple e-invite first so that we can have a good estimate of the number of confirmed guests coming in to secure the table arrangements. Urgh! So many things at a time!
So I started to look up on e-invites online, my eye bleary and managed to come up with the following:
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But both were rejected by husband because one is to adorable and the other is too cliché. Yes, he is a hard man to please.
So ended up he designed an e-invite himself sacrificing a full night of sleep to come up with this. Kudos!
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Only when we started giving out our e-Invites, our friends started to enquire about the location of the restaurant. It isn't a common location, its near the city but it is still far off enough to retain the greenery and you can't hear traffic from the main road.
So we google a map and provided everyone with this:
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My parents started to chase my husband and me for a proper invitation card. Physical hard copy not some e-invite for them to deliver to our relatives. Sigh! Time to do research again...
As both of us are Chinese Singaporeans, we need to go through the Chinese traditional in order to consider married by the elderly. So out of respect, we did consult our parents what they need and what we should prepare; and from there we select what was necessary and practical to go through.
The first step is the selection of auspicious dates for the Chinese wedding, the betrothal and the installation of the bridal bed. A Chinese monk or a temple fortune teller selects a suitable date based on the couple's birth dates and times. Some may also refer to the Chinese calendar or almanac for good days. Even numbered months and dates are preferred, and the lunar seventh month is avoided at all cost, as it is the month of the Hungry Ghost Festival. Since we don’t have betrothal and our bed actually has been installed prior to me moving in, we decided to skip the consultation of dates completely. Most of my friends will spend thousands of dollars and wait for 3 months at least for a feng shui master to give them a few good dates. I decided to save my money for that and use it for better purposes. Did I mention I am a practical lady? Oops I think I did once too many times.
Secondly, we suppose to go through the betrothal where both sets of parents exchanged family credentials as tokens of intention. Then, after extensive bargaining, the two families would arrive at the amount of money and goods that would make up the gift to the girl’s family. The custom is for the groom’s parents to buy 'grand gifts' for the bride's family to formally accept the marriage. These gifts may be largely ceremonial or may include money, especially in 'nines', i.e. 99rmb, 999rmb as nine symbolizes 'forever'. I like to label it as selling your daughter away. Haha! I insisted that I wouldn’t want to go through this at all for a very good reason too! The so-called betrothal money will probably come from my husband, presented to my parents who most likely will give it back to me. So it goes around, I told my husband I preferred that he transfer the money directly to me via my bank account.
Third, if we follow the strict tradition, we are to have the hair combing ritual. At dawn on my wedding day, I will be bathed in water infused with pamelo, a variety of grapefruit, to cleanse her of evil influences. I will need to put on a set of new pajamas and sat before lit dragon-and-phoenix candles. A ‘good luck woman’ will be invited to speak auspicious words while combing my hair. We skipped this as well because I didn’t want to wake up in the wee hours of morning when my wedding celebration is in the afternoon.
By now, you might be exhausted reading such a long tradition list of task to do! Fourth, we skipped the gate crash which involves arriving at the bride’s house, the groom’s party will be met by my girlfriends, who would not ‘surrender ’ the bride until they were satisfied by red packets of money from the groom’s representative. This was the occasion of much good-natured haggling before the two parties could reach an agreement. I secretly wanted to do this but fortunately for my husband, my sister thinks it is unnecessary and coerces me to drop the idea.
Last by not least, the tea ceremony, which we did do because both of us think, are the most necessary among all the tradition rules. On the wedding day, both of us serves tea (holding the teacup with both hands) to all our elders at the location of the restaurant and our elders in return will provide small gifts and red packet.
Being in Shanghai and it was during spring, I decided to pamper myself from all the work and preparations I have been putting myself to. After a long cold winter, my shoulder length hair was horrible, fraying at the ends, demanding tender loving care and maliciously choose not to behave the moment I step out of house for work. I need to tame my hair!
So I did a Baidu.com search for a suitable hair salon in Shanghai that is way cheaper if I do it in Singapore or Malaysia. For the same price they charged me in Singapore, I probably could do 2 more times in the best hair salon in China. I found 3 of the salons that I could consider:
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Liz Salon http://www.dianping.com/shop...
Somehow this shop just gave me a very japanese feel about it, just like I have walked into a Muji shop, clean, bright and dainty. My boss actually swears by them (she and her whole family cuts their hair there).
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The Craft Hair Salon http://www.dianping.com/shop... I saw their photos on the web and I drooled over their interior designs. Super english-retro-fitted! I wouldn't mind spending hours in a salon like this.
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Pandora Hair Salon http://www.dianping.com/shop...
Ended up I chose this because the other two was fully booked for the day and the next available slots was a week later which I will be traveling for business.
My hair came out from this (I look like a monster here..See how dry my ends are. I couldn't control it even with conditioning and many home treatment products).
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To this! Nice right? Kudos to my hair stylist who took this photo of me to send to my husband. My hair stylist told me that my hair is too dry due to the color dyed products I used on my hair the last time round is to harsh. He also gave me a nice gentle curl at the ends to make my hair looks bouncier thus making me look more youthful.
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Touched and overwhelmed by the miracle they did to my hair, I agreed to signed up a 5 treatment package to make sure I come back to revive my damaged hair.
Feeling absolutely on the sky high as my colleagues and friends compliment my hair. Swish swish swish. Haha! As I ran my fingers through my hair, I could feel the soft texture and the feathery feel of my ends, at last, I have desirable hair! I still have another 4 more appointments to attend for my hair to completely heal.
Meanwhile I am traveling again this time round to Sichuan for business but it is no play but all work for me as I now turn my focus on getting the bridesmaid dresses. As all of my 3 bridesmaids are of different sizes, in considerations of that, I need to dress them to bring out their best features and hide the flaws. I also need to keep in mind of my color theme and as well as to make sure the dresses are not hideous that they will never ever wear again and banish them to the back of the closet. Yes, I have bridesmaid dresses like that.
These are the ones I found:
 "Bridesmaids")
These dresses are dreamy and I love the soft colours range. Very pretty. Too bad the seller is not able to deliver on time for the dresses otherwise, I'm sure my bridesmaids will love it.
 "Ivory bridesmaids")
My sister think this is too oldish for her liking so this was discard although it does comes in the Tiffany Blue colour I want.
 "Blue bridesmaids")
This is very dainty and the colour is perfect! However, the seller only have one size which is XS, I don't want to take the risk to find out. Time is running out. I need to look for another seller! FAST!
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This is very cute!!! But 2 out of 3 of my bridesmaids hate it because it's too frilly and sweet for their taste.
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Too sweet and too cutesy? I picked this as I know I would wear it time and time again like a classic piece. But too bad the seller doesn't have the colour I want. But it looks nice though. I was deliberating on whether to have the bridesmaids dresses in red but in the end, I still stick with Tiffany Blue.
In the end, with my sister’s blessing, we choose this range and got the tailor in China
(https://item.taobao.com/item...) to assist in custom making the dresses.We did remove the waistbandroseswhen the dresses came with it because it was not as nice as the pictures. Thecolourswere exactly the way I want it. The best part are the sizes fitted perfectly so no further alterations are required.
 "Blue bridesmaids")
Until today, my bridesmaids still love the dresses and will use it as a summer dress. I’m glad I didn’t buy anything that they didn’t want to wear.
While my head is spinning around getting dresses to fit my bridesmaids as I need to take down their measurements for my Shanghai tailor to make, I am thrown a task by my husband to dress the best men as well. Why me?? He explained since I dressed him so well, I should be the one dressing the best men too. I smell something fishy here. I guess he is overwhelmed with his work and travels again.
I managed to save a lot of time by frantically getting some of my friends and my sister to help to come up with research. They will browse through some of the web links I gave them and forward me what they think is nice or they will pin it up on my Pinterest account so I get to go through it when I knocked off from work or step down from a plane. Yes, I’m heavy duty in business travels too. While I can excuse my husband, he travels globally while I travel regionally so I don’t really have jet lag as an excuse.
These are the few I have found that I think looks cute enough to eat:
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 "Groom style")
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In the end, we decided to opt out of jackets and suits for the best men as it is going to be sweltering hot in the summer afternoon. I think as it is they are doing my husband a huge favor, we should make them as comfortable as possible. So we went for the suspenders and tie (with it matching the colors of my bridesmaid dresses so that people will know they are our best people). Since all 3 of them have white shirt and pants anyways so we asked them to deck in those with the suspenders and tie.
 "Outdoor groom style")
His best men will look like this without the hats. I only got them these two items:
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I almost forgot I have to dress my father and my father-in-law too. So since I was researching for men’s clothing, I decided to expand my search out for them too. As a gift, I decided to get my husband, my father and my father-in-law the red ties below.
 "Red wedding headpieces, veils, cover-ups & brooches")
This is to signify them as the closest male influence in my life. Fortunately, for me they have their own suits so I don’t have to run around looking for theirs. Meanwhile, my sister has so graciously volunteered to dress my dad. I don’t know what to do without her!
Previously in one of my post, I did mentioned we needed invitation cards to be manually sent out like the good old days or for my parents to physically hand out to relatives. The good thing is that our wedding planner have prepared this in mind and forward us a few selections like the ones below:
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 "Red wedding invitations")
This is option 1 and the inside of option 1, as we are Chinese, you'll probably see Chinese wordings in the card. Both of us like this card because its traditional yet special and modern in the way they slotted the message in a packet form instead of a regular open card style.
 "White wedding invitations")
 "White wedding invitations")
I like this one a lot, its very pretty and looks very bridal but my husband don't like it in comparison to others because he feels that the card is very pale, he would have preferred it if it is in other colours like beige or silver.
 "Blue wedding invitations")
 "Blue wedding invitations")
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This is his favourite because of the colour scheme matches ours and it looks very innovative the way the card is opened up. Very artsy but that where it stops. I don't like the photo printing inside of the card, imagine people throwing your photos away in the bin!! I know I won't know it but the idea still makes uncomfortable. So thanks but no thanks!
In the end, my husband was better at picking stationaries and I leave the choice to him. To me, I prefer e-invites over the physical cards. You don’t know how many cards I have already thrown out after the wedding. Its just not something someone will keep unless its your own wedding.
 "Red wedding invitations")
 "Red wedding invitations")
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Finally, this was chosen because of the blood red colour that matches my roses (did I mentioned I want blood red roses?) and because the intricate paper cut symbolised tradition as well.
I was really caught off guard when my mother approaches me and asked me if I could find an outfit for her on my wedding day. She wants to look beautiful for me on the biggest day of her daughter’s life. Then one thing lead to another, my mother-in-law got wind of it and wants me to look one for her too.
I wanted to accommodate to their needs, I really do but in between traveling and wedding planning, my hands are so tied behind my back, with iron cuffs! Not someone who would say no to mothers, I’m relived that my sister and sister-in-law decided to jump in to help in search of the mothers dress. Quickly with both my mothers’ needs and wants in mind, we spent the weekend and came up with the available options.
For my mother, she is fashionable and she follows trend, she hates anything that is too dull or simple. Her kind of style is more of an eye-popping color without looking like a clown. So these are the choices for her:
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I don't really like this. My sister think Mum will like it but I kinda think its too flowery for her and as a part of the hosting family, I do want her to be more serious than flamboyant.
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I like this one so do my sister but my mum hates it because she thinks its too childish and girly.
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This dress have three of us giving it the thumbs up however, the seller ran out of sizes, with only XL and my mum is a M.
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So this is our final choice, something understatement yet unique in the beadings and it is actually royal blue and not navy blue so its more vibrant in person than on the screen. My mum pair it up with a little beading black bag that she has in her closet.
While for my mother-in-law, she prefers to have something tradition, something classy and serious. No black definitely. So these are the choices for her:
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Both my husband and I thought this is too old looking for her. We want her to look respected and matronly but not old fashioned.
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I like the pop of colours especially the orange but my sister-in-law thinks the dress is not suitable for my mother-in-law as it is not formal enough. Kinda like an office wear.
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We all love this because of the soft sensual fabric and classic simple design that my mother-in-law likes but the shop ran out of stock and not know when they will replenished.
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This is her final choice to go with a cheongsam which matches our colour theme!
As the earlier post, we will be doing the Chinese tradition tea ceremony, we need to prepare certain things. Going through the web and asking friends, these are the things we need to locate:
- A set of teacup with a teapot
- A basin with hot water to wash the cups
- Two cushions (both my husband and I have to kneel down until the whole ceremony is over)
- Of course, the tea (Lotus seeds and red dates tea to be prepared by my mother-in-law)
So for the cushions, we are just going to use some old cushions provided in the restaurant. We boiled down to searching for the tea set. It was simple enough as I am in Shanghai and surrounding me are little shops that specialized in selling traditional wedding stuff like tea sets and wedding bed sheets.
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I think I scared my husband when I present this picture to him. He went all ballistic because he thought I had turned into someone who went all cutesy on him. But for those of you who are Hello Kitty Fans, you can purchase it here:https://item.taobao.com/item...
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This is very retro however, my mother doesn't like it because it doesn't really look celebratory enough, I guess. (Link: https://item.taobao.com/item...)
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This is very pretty too but the seller had very hard time communicating with me over chats as I was also traveling back and fro from Singapore and Shanghai. In the end before I could decide to purchase this, I found the one below. (Link:https://detail.tmall.com/item...)
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Both of us like it and both our mothers love the redness of it, so this tea set is destined to be ours!
We also have to prepare red packets to give to helpers when they assist us with the wedding. So the list of helpers such as our bridesmaids and bestmen, our emcees, the restaurant serving team, my wedding planner, my make up artists etc. The key thing is also to make sure that any cash amount we are giving have to be of an auspicious number like 99 (represent longevity), 88 (double good fortune), 68 (always have good fortune), 58 (good fortune for you), 38 (bless with fertility) and all of the notes have to be new. I wanted the red packets to match my theme as well so we had to search online and I found this:
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I love this one but after the Hello Kitty scare, I don't think my husband can stomach another surprise. Yes, this is too cute for him. Haha! But if you like it, you can find it here:https://detail.tmall.com/item...
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This one is easier for me to sort out the different amount by using different colour packets however, I didn't think it was special enough. (Link:https://item.taobao.com/item...)
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his above is a safe choice, very classy and elegant. I was about to click onto the payment button when an email came in from one of my bridesmaid and she showed me something she found and I fell in love with it immediately and purchase it even without asking my husband.
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The paper cut design is so intricate and matches our wedding invitation card to the tee! I showed my husband later when the product arrive, both of us love the handiwork.
( Link:https://detail.tmall.com/item...)